Never say this to your child!

Lazy Parenting Canada
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The fundamental message behind Lazy parenting has always been that we need to build a strong relationship with our children built on mutual respect. I strongly believe that it is impossible to raise healthy, happy, independent, empathetic young adults if our relationship with them doesn’t have this strong foundation. When our children don’t trust us, they don’t respect us. And that trust comes slowly, over time by us proving to our child that we are there for them in the good and bad times and that we always have their best interest at top of mind. Trust takes years to build but only an instant to break. And this goes both ways...it’s a message our kids need to understand, especially as they begin to gain independence and start to make their own decisions. They need to understand that when they break our trust through lies or deceit, it will take time to earn that trust back.

Now, understanding this and committing to this as the basis of all our parenting brings a new way of looking at our child’s behaviour. It means that we always have to look at our child’s behaviour from their perspective, from a lens of trying to understand the where and why the behaviour is coming from. And, being honest with ourselves that it is often our own constructs, our own hangups, our own issues from our own childhood that get in the way of this.

One of the times we often respond in a way that is not at all helpful is when our children are angry, upset, or crying and we say the words…

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Fostering Resiliency in our Children so They Know They Can Do Hard Things

Lazy Parenting Canada
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We are in a hard season. There is no doubt about it. And, depending on where you are living --- the uncertainty of the election happening right now in the US is just one more pile of bricks loaded onto your back making the weight of motherhood, parenting, living….that much harder.

I talk often about how we as the parents HAVE TO work on ourselves so that we can become the best, the strongest, the most resilient version of ourselves so that we can be the model to which our children look.

I believe the best way to help our children through these times is to shape the lessons they are going through. To do this, we have to INTENTIONALLY manage our own feelings and actions knowing that they are what our children are seeing. They are looking to us to see how they should be feeling.

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Be The Leader Your Kids Need You To Be | #21

Lazy Parenting Canada
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WOW - In real-time, I am recording this podcast at the beginning of WEEK SEVEN of self-isolation here in Vancouver, BC. The idea for this podcast came to me when I was leading an online Zoom practice for my cheer team and I asked them why they weren’t joining me for my live 8 am workouts that I was leading on our team Instagram page. Many of them told me that they just aren’t awake at 8 am. They told me they are sleeping in until at least 10 am, some till noon, and one of them told me she had just woken up (it was 4 pm!) And this blew me away! I asked what time she went to bed and she said 5 am. I’ll be honest with you...I don’t get it! I don’t understand why they are being allowed to do this. I think it is crazy! Now...you may not agree with me BUT - I firmly believe that holding our children and ESPECIALLY OUR TEENS to a schedule that resembles their regular school day is important if we want to be raising kids who can handle adversity, can see this as a time to set some goals and reach them AND if our relationship with them is going to thrive and grow instead of having one that is riddled with one argument after another until quite frankly, I believe many parents just throw their hands up and give up.

That is not how the world works. If anything, this quarantine is showing up and teaching us a whole lot about ourselves and our ability to stay positive, stay healthy, set goals, follow a plan, and do the things/have the habits that will ensure we walk out of our houses stronger, healthier, happier, more centered and knowing what we want than we were 2 months ago before this all began.

I know this one thing --- I want to walk out of this house all of that! I don’t want to look back at these weeks and think of what I could have accomplished. I don’t want to remember fighting with my kids, I don’t want to remember them locked up in their rooms all day long. I don’t want to remember yelling and fighting between the siblings or with me. And further, I want my KIDS to remember this time as an opportunity that they took advantage of. That they didn’t have a victim mentality and just waste the days away playing video games, scrolling social media, and isolating themselves away from the family. I want us as a family to look back at this time and remember the nightly game nights we played, the laughs we had, the meals we all ate together, the roasting of marshmallows we did, the long walks we took, the fitness programs we all participated in, the home projects that we all took part in to make our house cleaner, more organized and more livable. I want them to remember that we LIVED during this time. That we LOVED during this time AND that we ACCOMPLISHED the goals that we had.

In today’s episode, I share FIVE tips/strategies that we as parents need to work on if we are to be an effective and inspiring leader of our family.

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10 Tips for Parenting Your Unreasonable Child

Lazy Parenting Canada
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Don’t perceive your child's behavior as coming from a reasonable place - it isn’t! They aren’t reasonable beings...They do most of the behaviors that annoy us out of impulse, out of stress, out of emotion --- which are all heightened right now. And in your house, if you have a new baby, a new pet, a new parent home, new schooling schedules --- so many new things!

By definition - unreasonable means “not guided or based on good sense”. Well if there was ever a word that described children this would be it!

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5 Things Thank Week One of This Crisis Has Taught Me | #16

Lazy Parenting Canada
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We are now one week deep into the global crisis that has descended on Canada. Yes, it has been going on for longer than that, but this week we went from a world where businesses were running as normal, people were out and about enjoying the parks, the libraries, the cafes and the movie theaters. And now, we are all sequestered in our homes, venturing out only to get groceries and to go to work. No extended family dinners, no playing on the playground, no going out for dinner or even to Starbucks. Our world has changed. Our day to day is drastically different than it was a week ago.

In today's episode, I share 5 tips or strategies that I believe to be essential things to think about as we move into the next few months. As all this craziness gets crazier, we will need to keep the physical and mental health of our families at the forefront. We need to check our own physical and mental health so we can lead our family through this challenging time and make it through to the other side stronger, closer, better connected and able to navigate whatever our new normal turns out to be.

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Lazy and Entitled Kids - 10 Parenting Tips You Need to Revisit TODAY (Part 2) | #12

Lazy Parenting Canada
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Welcome Lazy Parents! Funnily enough, we are talking about lazy kids today….and not Lazy in a good way like I am encouraging you to be! Lazy kids who don’t help around the house, who expect you to do all the things for them, who lock themselves in their room, who spend hours on screens, kids who don’t understand and blow up at you when you don’t give them what they want when they want it. Today’s episode is part 2 in which I share tips 6-10 to help your kids become more caring, more involved and more grateful! From exercise to chores, to forced family time and reading & music!

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Do You Have Lazy & Entitled Kids? 10 Parenting Tips You Need to Revisit TODAY! | #11

Lazy Parenting Canada
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I seem to be seeing a lot of posts on social media about “entitled kids”, lazy kids, kids who don’t appreciate all that they have, kids who don’t help around the house and yet expect their parents to cater to their every whim. And, the people who comment on these posts are all in agreement, all sharing in the difficulty that is parenting. Parents who are all feeling helpless and overwhelmed with fear of what their kids are turning in to….wondering where did they go wrong? What is the right thing to do? How much therapy is my child going to need in the future????

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Stop Calling Your Child Names! |#9

Lazy Parenting Canada
in ,

When you look at your child what is the first thing you see?

What is the first word that comes to your mind?

Do words such as ‘messy’, ‘crazy’, ‘stubborn’, ‘talkative’ come to mind?

Our children’s personality and character traits are often formed, believe it or not, from the words we use and assign to them from a young age. The self-fulfilling prophecy is a REAL THING and I talk in today’s episode about why we have to be so mindful of the tags and labels we assign to our children.

Self-fulfilling prophecy (SFP) is what happens when we use predictions at the start of something that affects our behavior in such a way that we make that prediction happen.

My many years of teaching, coaching and parenting have shown me the power of SFP in action over and over again! I have seen the results of both children and parents who have certain beliefs put upon them and then live either up or down to those opinions. 

As a mom of little ones, words such as ‘messy’, ‘crazy’, ‘stubborn’, ‘talkative’ were a few that come to my mind. The idea of self-fulfilling prophecy was presented as a way for us as parents to be mindful of the tags we assign to our children.

Self-fulfilling prophecy (SFP) is what happens when we use predictions at the start of something that affects our behavior in such a way that we make that prediction happen.

My many years of teaching, coaching, and parenting have shown me the power of SFP in action over and over again! I have seen the results of both children and parents who have certain beliefs put upon them and then live either up or down to those opinions. 

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